The Process

So Bob and I are sitting around late Saturday morning, readying ourselves for the beach, when Ned,(of my Green Beans post), and Roger stop by. These two guys were renting this house a few years back. They're two older married guys, funny guys on their own, and really funny when together. I just get a real kick out of them. They make me laugh...I mean really laugh, not a polite ha ha laugh. (Anyway, for the most part, I've always found men more entertaining than women.) Well, Ned invites us over to their house for dinner that night. I was very excited since this was our first outing with Gringos that our present work schedule permits.

Well, we head to the beach for a little ocean time. The water was tame, only a yellow flag day. Even the ocean birds were able to fish. We prefer the big crashers. We spent our afternoon piddling around the water and my favorite activity, people-watching. We get back home, and I start "The Process".

WELL.....

Now, my getting dressed can take anywhere from 20 minutes including a shower, no make up, no hair, to 2 hours, with make up and hair. I'd picked out my clothes earlier that morning so this should have been a breeze, right? Wrong. Shower and make up, maybe 50 minutes... And the make up part is tricky as I apply it outside on the terrazza for the natural light, so I don't go around looking like Bette Davis in "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?". I was surprisingly ahead of schedule. Shit---Then came my hair...Did I tell you all how humid it is living on the ocean, so no more "good hair days" and, hence, I have a ratty brownish mop on top of my head which flairs out right where it hits my ears as it is crispy and dry and makes my chubby face look more like a moon face?? All true. All I can say is Thank God for mousse, gel, leave-in conditioner, and hairspray. After applying several layers of this concoction on the mop, which only made it look slick and stiff, I was ready to get dressed and go. No, not quite...


It must be hereditary. My sister, Lissa, and I both suffer from chronic changeofclothesitis. I can be absolutely positive that I have an outfit picked out, and when I am ready to get dressed, it just doesn't look or feel like it did earlier during the trying-on stage. Is it the lighting, did I gain 5 lbs in the last 5 hours, or is my vision better in the afternoon than morning? Well, my first outfit of black slacks and black top were quickly nixed. Too severe, I thought. (Nah- that last statement is a lie. Actually, I caught a glimpse of those nasty little chubbies under my arms.) So, I proceed to tear through my closet as it is crunch time... sun dresses, jeans, a slew of tops, and of course, all this activity started to make my moon face perspire. Grrrrreat.


Finally, I settle on a small polka-dotted stretchy top and a pair of capri jeans. I should have remembered this is one of my favorite "in a pinch" outfits. By this time, another 30 minute process, and after Bob gave me the countdown to departure, he now is downstairs advising me he will be pulling out the car as he sincerely believes that his disappearing on me will hasten my process. Well, it doesn't,... never has. The last 5 minutes I tried on several pairs of shoes and decided on a pair of high platform tie-up-your-ankle closed toe sandals. I was really hoping this choice not a mistake as it's been probably eight months since I've worn a heel higher than an inch. There's really something special about heels. I feel less squishy.

I was very proud . We arrived at 6:40pm for a 6:30pm invite.

Well, then we were in for an absolutely lovely evening. That's next.

Hey Lissa: I hope you are reading and enjoying this post in particular.